Monday 24 January 2011

Shakespeare's Head


 Decorating buildings with Chenango members

Not because we want to, but because people have been begging and begging us to put up some new blogs! But of course this is tedious work we only do this for our followers… ;-] So lets get to the point, London is still a blast! Besides all the orientation crap signing papers and remembering that we do indeed have class, we’ve been living it up Chenango style, which entails taking a nap the night we plan to go out. Bumblebee hassled Voogle Tortilla and Quemasopa so that we wouldn’t go to sleep. Quemasopa even had to threaten her skinny ass, but the Jet lag was more powerful than Chenango (London). Anyways we all ended up heading to our rooms and literally Voogle and Quemasopa sneaked under the covers while Tortilla got ready, and Bumblebee after bitching for none of us to go to sleep, knocked out as well. Tortilla was ready to go out with no one to go out with. She knocked on Voogle and Quemasopa’s door and was surprised to find them a hot mess. They eventually got up to go out but Bumblebee stayed in bed. AND GUESS WHERE THEY WENT OUT…. MCDONALDS!! They close at 2 and have no dollar menu but it was MCDONALDS. Tortilla and Voogle went Quemasopa didn’t want to go. She did ask for 20 pieces of Chicken McNuggets though, FAT ASS! Anyways they met some Americans and apparently this is how people think Americans eat in London. Voogle got fries and some girl said, “eat it the American way! Stuff like 7 of those in there” Is that the American way to eat fries? We weren’t aware. Anyways we spent the rest of the night in the hotel bar where we met two other American guys while Bumblebee was still sleeping. Apparently we were there for too long even after taking shots, drinking beer, and the bar closed. Some Asian guy who was cleaning said to us
“Are you going to stay here?”
Voogle asked, “why would you like us to leave?”
And he said “Yes”
We were like “Damn!” How much ruder can the people get? I’ll tell you how much. What happens when you stick two fingers up in London? You get a two or a peace sign right… WRONG! 
F*** you

Apparently depending on which way you stick your fingers up one way means peace or the number two and the other way means fuck you! Of course the middle finger does as well, it’s universal. Anyways we went to bed and woke up the next day for course registration and to move into our beautiful two bedroom flat. 

It’s so pretty. Worthy of Chenango. However Voogle and Quemasopa’s bedroom has poor heating so it’s freezing in there and the bathroom toilet is square. Yes you heard right. It is square it is not circular and your tushy does not fit perfectly and comfortably in there. Also our shower has completely transparent doors!. No curtains. Voogle and Quemasopa have arranged it so that neither enters when the other is in there scrubbing. Bumblebee and Tortilla have it bad when it comes to their bathroom too. They don’t have a shower. It is a sit in bath, perfect for bubble baths though. Also if Voogle or Quemasopa decide that they might want to go up the stairs and visit either Tortilla or Bumblebee there is a little window that allows you to see the way the were brought into this Earth. Their nice little birthday suits.  Whatever, our apartment is still amazing, also fit for Bumblebee it has mirrors everywhere. That girl definitely likes to look at herself. Might as well be a hobby. SOooo let me tell you about our real night out. 

We went to a bar named Shakespeare’s Head… REALLY what is so interesting about his head? Why name a bar after it? Why not his ass for that matter. Ok pushing it, yes I know Hostile for no reason lol. Anyway Tortilla Quemasopa and Voogle ordered beer, and Bumblebee ordered Malibu with pineapple juice. All sophisticated and stuff while the others were being barbarians.  We found a spot to sit and after a little while of sitting one of the guys from school came over and told us we were going to a club in Picadilly Circus, let me tell you Picadilly Circus is London’s Times Square. Anyway when the guy asked us if we wanted to go to the club, Voogle Tortilla and Quemasopa chugged their much stronger London beer and Bumblebee finished her drink. After waiting and seeing no moving they each took a shot of something called Southern Comfort and Voogle stuck to traditional Chenango Drinks and took a shot of Jose Cuervo. Oh so many dear unregrettable mistakes with our Dear Mr. Cuervo. Continuing, by the time we left the bar Tortilla Voogle and Quemasopa were drunk, but poor Bumblebee was sober, her drinks weren’t strong enough. We walked and walked and walked, and talked like fools. Quemasopa even started talking with the British accent, and then couldn’t stop!. And once we got to the club we couldn’t even get in. Apparently though they basically told us our shitty American ids were useless in London, without it we couldn’t get into the club. How ridiculous! We ended up heading back to the hotel and on our way Tortilla stopped everywhere she could to ask for a restroom, which they call “Toilet” (cricket) Not restroom, Not bathroom or lavatory.
 “TOILET” they also have signs of it everywhere, yet they have no Freaking street signs.

Wouldn’t you love to know how the hell we found our apartment.  But the day Tortilla is peeing on herself there are no Toilet signs around. Voogle’s drunk suggestion was “Just pee on yourself, you’ll feel so much better. You’ll be wet and cold. But you’ll feel better.” Drunk Tortilla even considered it. We ended up going to Mcdonald’s again, but not before we were stopped by creepy men at every corner. They kept asking us if we wanted to go to the club. It was so weird! We just kept walking in search for that Toilet. And then finally we went back to the hotel only to talk Bullshit until 4am even though we had to be up in a couple of hours to take a tour of London. Guess what we found out. The reason why they drive on the “correct” side of the road is because they are drunken belligerents. Their own words not ours. Moral of the story just because we’re in London doesn’t mean we have to stop being our beautiful Latina American selves.

No comments:

Post a Comment