Thursday, 10 February 2011

Baby its cold outside... oh wait

So many things have happened! We’ve had absolutely no time to update for our dear readers; we apologize.  SO guess what! Have you guys heard of that really green place with the huge rocks in the middle of nowhere that have been slowly deteriorating and is no longer a circle? Lol well Chenango was there at the beautiful Stonehenge, where we then went to a nearby town called Salisbury and visited yet another church. Yes London loves their Cathedrals and on top of that we spent a lot of time in the cold that day -___-. But on the bright side, the town is beautiful and the mix of old looking buildings and roads, and new buildings and roads, is pretty cool. But seriously touring is no fun when its cold, London weather is completely unpredictable! I know those of you in New York, or Syracuse, or Chicago are freezing with excessive snow. Well we here are tricked! We get this beautiful warm weather in the 50’s and we wake up to grey cold days in the weekend, the time we are prone to spending the whole day out! But that is only the down side. We’ve been pretty much everywhere here, we went to the markets and though Bumblebee and Voogle did not buy anything, Tortilla and Quema Sopa (now to be known as QS because her name is too long) bought 4 different beautiful dresses for 20 pounds! Which is cheap only 33 dollars! What girl would not be happy with 4 new dresses for 33 dollars? They also bought boots and now they’re going to some new place to buy more shit!! Yes Tortilla and QS have taken over for Bumblebee and our dear Super Chicken who we miss soooo much! 

WE ARE SHOPPING FIENDS!!! Ok so I’m exaggerating a bit, but whatever new stuff is so exciting!!! Anyways we went to this new club called Embassy. We happened to have this one guy with us, along with two other darling girls, and so many men stopped, not to say how beautiful we are, NO of course not. They stopped to ask the one guy that was with us if it was his birthday! He received many congratulations for being with so many beautiful women. Hey who could blame them? Oh and guess what your beautiful Latina’s in London found on a Friday night outing…. WE FOUND A LATINO PLACE!!! And guess what the place was called… It’s very original…. It’s called… SALSA 

lol but who cares. It was so much fun, Chenango had yet to dance so much until that night and it was simply great. We were also not entirely there in our sober status. Actually we were so drunk, that first we went in the wrong station for the tube. Then we stopped at the store for chips. Of course we had the munchies and then QS Left her stupid bag in the store and only comes to notice when Chenango (London) had gotten on the bus. SO we all had to get off, walk back and get on the bus again. BUT THEN WE GOT THERE, DANCED AND THEN ATE CHIPOTLE!!! Oh that was such a good night.  Oh and if any of our followers ever come to London you definitely need to go to the Titanic exhibit. It is so amazing! You get boarding passes with characters and as you go through the exhibit and learn about people etc. you get to find out if you lived or died, along with seeing so much cool shit! We were all in first class and we all survived except for Tortilla who drowned. Poor girl. Before we leave you, though there is so much more to tell, we’re trying to keep it short for next time and leave you wanting more. Let us tell you what BUMBLEBEE AND VOOGLE DID TO TORTILLA AND QUEMA SOPA (yes the whole name is needed for this story). Those two tiny bitches get out of class on Tuesday at 6:50pm. Normally they get lost or like last week stop and drink in a pub. We gave them time to get home. The clock keeps ticking and SO Tortilla and QS begin to call their cell phones (which are here called Mobiles, emphasis on the I) at around 830pm like the worried roommates that they are. Because even so, it does not take a hour and a half to get home. Bumblebee’s phone died, and Voogle turned her phone off!! Tortilla and QS joke about their drinking again, that maybe random drunk Tuesdays are their thing until it hit 10pm and they still weren’t home. Minds begin to run wild. Human Trafficking is common in Europe. Voogle’s mom calls twice, QS ignores her call. How could she explain to Voogle’s mom that neither Tortilla nor QS had seen Voogle or Bumblebee that day? QS and Tortilla start to freak out it hits 11pm and they call the Emergency number the school gave them.  It was too early but as soon as it hit 12 SU London said they would go out and look for them. It hits 11:56 QS is sitting by the window freaking out to her mom who is also freaking out and the two missing Chenango members appear walking, Laughing, TAKING THEIR TIME! They went to a freaking play! “We thought we told you,” they said to QS and Tortilla. WE WERE ALREADY IMAGINING THEIR FUNERAL! Thankfully all Chenango members are safe and so with much more to say but too much to write, the Latinas in London leave you all to enjoy the upcoming weekend! BYE!!

Monday, 24 January 2011

Shakespeare's Head

 Decorating buildings with Chenango members

Not because we want to, but because people have been begging and begging us to put up some new blogs! But of course this is tedious work we only do this for our followers… ;-] So lets get to the point, London is still a blast! Besides all the orientation crap signing papers and remembering that we do indeed have class, we’ve been living it up Chenango style, which entails taking a nap the night we plan to go out. Bumblebee hassled Voogle Tortilla and Quemasopa so that we wouldn’t go to sleep. Quemasopa even had to threaten her skinny ass, but the Jet lag was more powerful than Chenango (London). Anyways we all ended up heading to our rooms and literally Voogle and Quemasopa sneaked under the covers while Tortilla got ready, and Bumblebee after bitching for none of us to go to sleep, knocked out as well. Tortilla was ready to go out with no one to go out with. She knocked on Voogle and Quemasopa’s door and was surprised to find them a hot mess. They eventually got up to go out but Bumblebee stayed in bed. AND GUESS WHERE THEY WENT OUT…. MCDONALDS!! They close at 2 and have no dollar menu but it was MCDONALDS. Tortilla and Voogle went Quemasopa didn’t want to go. She did ask for 20 pieces of Chicken McNuggets though, FAT ASS! Anyways they met some Americans and apparently this is how people think Americans eat in London. Voogle got fries and some girl said, “eat it the American way! Stuff like 7 of those in there” Is that the American way to eat fries? We weren’t aware. Anyways we spent the rest of the night in the hotel bar where we met two other American guys while Bumblebee was still sleeping. Apparently we were there for too long even after taking shots, drinking beer, and the bar closed. Some Asian guy who was cleaning said to us
“Are you going to stay here?”
Voogle asked, “why would you like us to leave?”
And he said “Yes”
We were like “Damn!” How much ruder can the people get? I’ll tell you how much. What happens when you stick two fingers up in London? You get a two or a peace sign right… WRONG! 
F*** you

Apparently depending on which way you stick your fingers up one way means peace or the number two and the other way means fuck you! Of course the middle finger does as well, it’s universal. Anyways we went to bed and woke up the next day for course registration and to move into our beautiful two bedroom flat. 

It’s so pretty. Worthy of Chenango. However Voogle and Quemasopa’s bedroom has poor heating so it’s freezing in there and the bathroom toilet is square. Yes you heard right. It is square it is not circular and your tushy does not fit perfectly and comfortably in there. Also our shower has completely transparent doors!. No curtains. Voogle and Quemasopa have arranged it so that neither enters when the other is in there scrubbing. Bumblebee and Tortilla have it bad when it comes to their bathroom too. They don’t have a shower. It is a sit in bath, perfect for bubble baths though. Also if Voogle or Quemasopa decide that they might want to go up the stairs and visit either Tortilla or Bumblebee there is a little window that allows you to see the way the were brought into this Earth. Their nice little birthday suits.  Whatever, our apartment is still amazing, also fit for Bumblebee it has mirrors everywhere. That girl definitely likes to look at herself. Might as well be a hobby. SOooo let me tell you about our real night out. 

We went to a bar named Shakespeare’s Head… REALLY what is so interesting about his head? Why name a bar after it? Why not his ass for that matter. Ok pushing it, yes I know Hostile for no reason lol. Anyway Tortilla Quemasopa and Voogle ordered beer, and Bumblebee ordered Malibu with pineapple juice. All sophisticated and stuff while the others were being barbarians.  We found a spot to sit and after a little while of sitting one of the guys from school came over and told us we were going to a club in Picadilly Circus, let me tell you Picadilly Circus is London’s Times Square. Anyway when the guy asked us if we wanted to go to the club, Voogle Tortilla and Quemasopa chugged their much stronger London beer and Bumblebee finished her drink. After waiting and seeing no moving they each took a shot of something called Southern Comfort and Voogle stuck to traditional Chenango Drinks and took a shot of Jose Cuervo. Oh so many dear unregrettable mistakes with our Dear Mr. Cuervo. Continuing, by the time we left the bar Tortilla Voogle and Quemasopa were drunk, but poor Bumblebee was sober, her drinks weren’t strong enough. We walked and walked and walked, and talked like fools. Quemasopa even started talking with the British accent, and then couldn’t stop!. And once we got to the club we couldn’t even get in. Apparently though they basically told us our shitty American ids were useless in London, without it we couldn’t get into the club. How ridiculous! We ended up heading back to the hotel and on our way Tortilla stopped everywhere she could to ask for a restroom, which they call “Toilet” (cricket) Not restroom, Not bathroom or lavatory.
 “TOILET” they also have signs of it everywhere, yet they have no Freaking street signs.

Wouldn’t you love to know how the hell we found our apartment.  But the day Tortilla is peeing on herself there are no Toilet signs around. Voogle’s drunk suggestion was “Just pee on yourself, you’ll feel so much better. You’ll be wet and cold. But you’ll feel better.” Drunk Tortilla even considered it. We ended up going to Mcdonald’s again, but not before we were stopped by creepy men at every corner. They kept asking us if we wanted to go to the club. It was so weird! We just kept walking in search for that Toilet. And then finally we went back to the hotel only to talk Bullshit until 4am even though we had to be up in a couple of hours to take a tour of London. Guess what we found out. The reason why they drive on the “correct” side of the road is because they are drunken belligerents. Their own words not ours. Moral of the story just because we’re in London doesn’t mean we have to stop being our beautiful Latina American selves.

Wednesday, 19 January 2011

Hi, from London

Who would’ve thought our trip to London would arrive? Who would’ve thought it’d be so long? 4 hours in the US airport. 7 hours and a half on the plane. 1 to 2 hours in the UK airport waiting for the bus and then 2 hours in traffic on a bus where one of our Chenanigan Chenangians blew chunks into a plastic bag. We arrived at our hotel and when we were on our way to our school, named Faraday House, it took crossing the street to realize that we are stupid Americans and almost died while crossing the street lol. Mind you the floor says look left or look right. It’s not our fault the cars are on the wrong side of the street. Oh and you know Jay walking…yea try that here. These drivers are crazy we’re scared NOT to use the crosswalk. We also keep forgetting they drive on what we consider the passenger side, so No, when you see someone in the passenger side alone he/she is driving the car it is not actually driving itself. Now let’s talk about the food. NEVER I MEAN NEVER RUN OUT OF BREAD!!! You want to survive here, and so far bread has been our knight in shining armor. Granted we’ve been eating hotel food, but it was hard as hell and the water we had to wash it down with gives a bad after taste -___-. We did however find a Spanish Market YAYYY. How could Latinas ever survive in London without some sazon in their lives? Something else we found was our flat! We picked our first choice, which took us 10,000 years to find. We got to know the neighborhood before we got the flat. And we got good pizza =). They also had Mexican food for our fellow Tortilla. Moving on let us talk about the train and their oyster cards. I’m sorry not the train the TUBE. We looked like complete idiotic tourist trying to figure out how that thing works. We also looked like complete tourist trying to figure out where we were going. We ask “do you know where Gloucester Road is?” the guy answers “Go around the corner to the tourist information stand.” Lol talk about obvious tourist. All the walking around asking for directions made us want to be in car but considering their driving that would not be such a good idea. They park whichever way they want, picture this

Yea weird. Oh also British people and Americans  are not so different, much like quema sopa they curse a lot. They are also fast on the go, and they hit on Beautiful Latinas on the street. Our tourist guide started the day with calling an agent a dick that was entertaining. Second, they are so quick to get where they are going that you have to stand on the right of the escalator. If not you will get thrown down or pushed out of the way. It’s actually a rule, isn’t that crazy? I find it helpful, America should try it. Oh and of course the British guys had to hit on Tortilla and Quema sopa because we are so “HOT, Perfect OOO la la.” And that wasn’t the only time. All four of us were in the elevator which is very tiny by the way and a lot of people were trying to cram in. Voogle hit the elevator buttons but the doors wouldn’t close. Two gay guys were on the side and some other guy was too close to the door. One of the gay guys said “maybe there are too many people on the elevator.” The guy close to the door got off and the door closed. The gay guy said “he was just too fat” lol which he wasn’t. Tortilla said “I’m glad I wasn’t by the door.” And when we got off they whistled at us. Of course. Voogle says “but their gay” and Bumblebee said “gay guys hit on pretty people.” We’re loud we make an impression and we’re experiencing some change “we’re not only Americans we’re Latina Americans!”